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The way of the future!

I was lying in my bathtub, thinking of how Archimedes had come up with a brilliant thought in a similar condition, which helped us unravel some of Physics’ mysteries. And then, I started to curse the person who invented the bathtub. If not for that person, children across the globe would have had one less chapter or theory to worry about.

My thoughts lingered, and EUREKA!! In my attempts to leash my thoughts, I had struck upon a brainstorming idea! What if there was a machine that could just erase unwanted memories? A memory modifier, if you will. I’m sure that every person, irrespective, has a few memories that they would love to do away with.

Remember that day when you were on the stage, about to deliver a speech, and all that came out was “Gorp. Fnark. Schmegle.”? And then you turned around and ran off stage and sat in your room, locked in, swearing that you would never show your face to the world again. Of course you do!

Or what about that day, when you were on a perfect date, and you screwed up, told Maria, “I love you Sophie”? As she walked away, you begged her to come back, saying, “Sorry Irene!” Ouch! Physically hurts you every single time that memory comes to mind, ain’t it?

What about that one time when you danced clumsily for your cousins wedding, Bollywood item song booming loudly in the backdrop? Getting redder in the face by the nano-second, all your relatives looking on, amused and fighting to hold off their laughing fit. Yet, you can see that two month old kid showing his gums. And then, there’s that woman who never liked you, rolling on the floor, holding her stomach and shouting for you to stop. While you pray that the lights go out, so you could go jump off the bridge. Yeah, I thought so, not one of your favourites.

Alas! The world needs memory modifiers! Of course, if you were a witch or a wizard, you could simply use a Pensieve. Or ask that healer to just point their wand at you and say, “Obliviate”. Alas! The world needs witches and wizards! Damn you, medieval age witch hunters!

So, the way of the future is – invent a memory modifier. Simple! Not a month will pass and you will be drowning in wads of cash you made from selling those beautiful machines. Apple’s market value will have fallen (don’t ask me why) and Steve Jobs, with his bald head shining from perspiration, will offer you a lucrative (more lucrative than his damn head, I assure you) deal.

Of course, those wads of cash will be reduced to half, when you hand over to me my fair share of half. Why? HEY! Who had the idea? ME!

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