Living with a 75+ year old man who has nothing but demented memories and paranoia has got me thinking a lot about old age. Is it worth living so long, when all you serve to do is be sad and make the people around you (the ones who love you and care for you) feel sad and haunt them?
All that my grandfather seems to think is that his wife, me and my family have some sort of grudge against him and want to kill him. I do not know how he came to that conclusion. While my grandmother takes care of him everyday, helping him even in the smallest and simplest of matters, he sees her being evil.
An idle mind is a devil's workshop, they say. I have come to realise that this is indeed an excellent saying. Having lost his sight due to glaucoma, he can do nothing but lie on his bed all day. Lack of exercise (mental and physical) seems to have eroded all his memories and they have been replaced by false memories, which apparently depict us as the antagonists.
Before he turned this way, he was a respectable man. He had taught in a government school for many years, more than 30 I believe. His pension is of a huge amount, which can support a middle class family on its own. Instead of living in peace, which is what old age is supposed to be, he makes life difficult for himself and for those around him too.
Of course, there are old people who are self sufficient and live better than people half their age do. But then there are these others, who - pardon me for saying this - make you despise old people.
After seeing him behave like this for almost a year, I seem to have lost all respect for him. I have almost reached a point when I cannot even stand the sight of him. And the worst part is, nobody will remember him as the respectable school teacher who dedicated his life educating rural children. He will be remembered as a fussy, demented old man who made things very hard for everyone, including himself.
A song by the band Black Sabbath strikes my mind. It's title. Die Young.
All that my grandfather seems to think is that his wife, me and my family have some sort of grudge against him and want to kill him. I do not know how he came to that conclusion. While my grandmother takes care of him everyday, helping him even in the smallest and simplest of matters, he sees her being evil.
An idle mind is a devil's workshop, they say. I have come to realise that this is indeed an excellent saying. Having lost his sight due to glaucoma, he can do nothing but lie on his bed all day. Lack of exercise (mental and physical) seems to have eroded all his memories and they have been replaced by false memories, which apparently depict us as the antagonists.
Before he turned this way, he was a respectable man. He had taught in a government school for many years, more than 30 I believe. His pension is of a huge amount, which can support a middle class family on its own. Instead of living in peace, which is what old age is supposed to be, he makes life difficult for himself and for those around him too.
Of course, there are old people who are self sufficient and live better than people half their age do. But then there are these others, who - pardon me for saying this - make you despise old people.
After seeing him behave like this for almost a year, I seem to have lost all respect for him. I have almost reached a point when I cannot even stand the sight of him. And the worst part is, nobody will remember him as the respectable school teacher who dedicated his life educating rural children. He will be remembered as a fussy, demented old man who made things very hard for everyone, including himself.
A song by the band Black Sabbath strikes my mind. It's title. Die Young.
Comments
Post a Comment