Hear the Silence

I have observed that a lot of people have the ability to strike up conversations and connections with strangers and with new acquaintances. I am not such a person. In fact, I have trouble picking up conversations with some of my cousins and relatives and even so called "friends".

I do not feel uneasy or uncomfortable with this lack of skill. You could call this being shy or a general disinterest in communicating with people. I would have called this condition as being "socially awkward" but after Googling the phrase, it turned out to be something a lot bigger.

Quite recently, one of the members of my extended family came to my house. The usual "hellos", "how are you?", etc followed. My dad wan't home and my mom was answering the phone. 

And there I was. Just sitting there, not knowing what to do and what to say. I looked around, hoping something or someone would come to the rescue. Alas! No such luck. After 10 minutes of painful silence, I was staring at a newspaper ad as if it was the most interesting and enlightening information I had ever seen.

I was just screaming inside my head, willing my relative to leave. "Please, I can't take any more of this! Leave!!". Hear the silence so loud.

Most times, I enjoy being not able to easily communicate with other people. It helps me to avoid a lot of awkward and weird conversation with a lot of people. If these people are strangers and newly acquainted people, it doesnt matter much.

But when that person happens to be a member of your family, I just hate it. I know I have to endure this silence and weirdness over and over, many times for many more years to come.