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Big fat Telugu weddings - The Rant

Everytime I go to one of these late night weddings of distant relatives and vague acquaintances, I come away feeling downright dirty.

This type of wedding is generally scheduled at about 2 pm, right, so most - about 90% - of the attendees stay only for dinner.

Eat your stomach's fill, stand in a queue of 100s of people who, just like you, are waiting to get on to the dais and wish the happy couple (or not so happy maybe, but we'll get to that later) to say hi and get the hell back to their house, never to see them again.


Doesn't that feel dirty? For about 90-95% of the guests, its a very mechanical transaction. The guests dont have to come, but they do anyway. The guests shouldn't have been invited in the first place, but they are, beacause - yes - of some stupid, made up, misplaced obligation.


I don't get the point. Why would you invite people who are barely in your social circle to your wedding (dinner)? Its supposed to be an intimate moment, not some showpiece event. As a consequence, neither you nor your close ones can really enjoy, take in this moment that is supposed to be one of the best in your life.


The snaking lines and queues both at the buffet area and the dais (mandap) are not only tediously long but also cause havoc. This seems not just a waste of money, but also time.


Just invite your close ones to the wedding so that it is a peaceful, lovely and memorable event. If a 1000 people turn up, its not only chaotic, but it would all probably be a haze in a few years. 


And spare a moment for the soon to be newlyweds. They are expected to stand until all the guests come and bless them - a process that usually takes a couple of hours at least. Most of these guests, they will never again see in their life, who have only turned up as an obligation and to have dinner. In fact, I'm quite certain that they don't even recognise most of them.


Now if you think this is a tedious process, do remember that the actual act of marriage has not yet taken place. By the predecided "auspicious" time has come about, only about 50 people will still be there. The couple (who have either been sitting or standing for almost a qurater of a day), are probably on the verge of passing out. There are kids who have long fallen alseep in the first row of the seating area. One look at the grandparents and you start to worry about their health.


What does this tradition tell us about the society?


And here's another interesting snippet about marriage customs. When the couple is being blessed, the guests bring gifts, mostly cash. The gifts brought by the invitees of the bride are collected by a member of the bride's family. The same happns for the groom's invitees. Then they mark how much each person has given, so if/ when those people invite them to a wedding, the same amount of money or some item worth that much is given to them.

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